Kung hey fat choi!
恭喜發財 . . . . → i wish i wrote it right)


I had a strange dream ; i sat on my 'Hongkong' bed staring at his room, the curtains open and the lights so bright. I stared long enough waiting for Him to appear untill He finally there staring back at me and smiling! (He smile at me!! Its too beautiful to be true but it does really happened . . . in my dream) and i enjoyed every seconds of it. But then our room turned into bubbles and slowly but sure its moving away from one another. We're both kind of knowing that its going to happen, that our spaces has to tearing us apart. I keep looking at Him, i can see in His eyes that He's understand my yearning. At the moment when i'm almost can't see Him anymore i tried to calling out His name but too late, He's gone, disappear with His bubbles room. The next thing i know my bubbles room turn into bedroom that was sooo familiar to me, my own bedroom in indonesia! which is five time larger than the one in Hk, all my fave stuff stay still just like the last time i left it. I'm a bit relieve from the upset feeling because of losing Him, i played a while in my room with all of those childish stuff of mine, i found myself happy. And then Still in my dream i reminded myself that its wrong to be in indonesia because i haven't finished my works contract yet, Thats when i open my eyes and trully waken up, but the dream still so clear and real in my mind. I played back the dream ; waiting, saw His smile, oh yes His smile, suddenly I miss Him. and then the bubbles room, and my room! I miss my room like never before, i hold back my tears and open my curtains to take a look at His room, the curtain is fall and i know that He's not there, i know at the night when i am sick because of those stupid thought was His last night in there (My mom said He is lucky not having a girlfriend like me because what i've done those night only gave a doubt for Him, nice gf will support Her bf in everything He does, not crying out stupidly that way). But i am fine after all, i mean after i got those dream i can be more open mind and sure that whatever happen the next i will be fine, i will always be fine.

Have a great year!

I didn't eat anything last night because i immediately sick when i thought i saw him packing, all that i did just crying and keep looking at his home to make sure that he still there. But then . . . Tadang!!! He's there, and the next thing i know i finally slept in peace.

I woke early because of starving. And . . . Last night they said they going to take me to see a doctor today. What should i say? How can i tell them that i was FINE at the moment i found out that HE still there? its true, I AM FINE JUST TO KNOW THAT HE'S THERE.


God, . . . Help me.
You know that i'm not lied, i do really sick last night. And i'm not lied that i feel fine when i saw him its because . . . i am smile from the heart. How hurt your physical is, if you find a great peace in your soul, you'll feel better, you'll feel fine.